What Is Ghosting in Dating? How Sailors Can Deal With Being Ghosted
Ghosting is when someone suddenly stops replying to messages and disappears from a relationship without explanation.
In modern online dating it has become increasingly common, leaving many people confused about what happened and how they should respond.
There are many terms in the world of dating that describe the antics of some daters. You may have been on the receiving end of some of these. We like to think that the members on Lovesail are a little more mature and kinder and wouldn’t carry out such unscrupulous behaviour. To that end let’s talk about ghosting.
What Is Ghosting?
Ghosting is the practice of abruptly ending all communication with someone without giving them any explanation.
It can happen after a few messages, after several dates, or even once a relationship has started to develop.
For the person being ghosted, the experience can feel confusing and hurtful. They may be left wondering what happened.
Did the other person run into some dreadful calamity? Were they hit by a boom? Did they fall overboard?
More often, the reality is much less dramatic.
The person who has been ghosted may start rereading past messages, trying to work out if they said something wrong. They may question themselves and wonder why the other person suddenly disappeared.
Eventually, the realisation arrives that the relationship simply ended without explanation.
Why Do People Ghost?
Research suggests that people with avoidant personality traits may be more likely to ghost. These individuals often find confrontation or emotional conversations uncomfortable.
People who have been ghosted themselves may also be more likely to repeat the behaviour.
Another factor is the belief in “destiny” or finding a perfect soulmate. Some daters assume that if someone isn’t exactly right, it’s easier to disappear and keep searching rather than explain their feelings.
For others, the reason is simpler: they just want to avoid an awkward conversation, even if it is only happening through a screen.
Signs You Are Being Ghosted
Sometimes it’s not immediately obvious whether someone is simply busy or has disappeared from the relationship entirely.
Common signs of ghosting include:
- Messages that suddenly stop being answered
- Calls that go straight to voicemail
- Social media activity continuing but no replies to you
- Plans that quietly disappear without explanation
If communication suddenly stops after regular contact, it may be a sign that the person has chosen to ghost rather than end things directly.
What Should You Do If You’ve Been Ghosted?
The best advice is simple: move on.
There is plenty of debate about how long you should wait before assuming someone has ghosted you. In general dating advice, three days or more of silence after regular communication is often taken as a sign that someone may have moved on.
Of course, sailors are sometimes out of signal while at sea or busy with a passage, so a little patience is always wise. But if the silence continues well beyond that, messages remain unanswered, continued activity on the site (posting pictures, making friends) it may be time to accept that the person has chosen not to continue the conversation.
At that point, it’s healthiest to step away.
You can delete the messages, block the person on social media if necessary, and move forward.
Some people feel they need closure. If that’s the case, it’s perfectly acceptable to send a final message, but keep it calm and dignified.
For example:
“Hi, I haven’t heard from you in a while. I’m not sure what happened, but my time is valuable so I’m going to step away now. I wish you well.”
Remember: if someone chooses to end communication by ghosting, it reflects their shortcomings, not yours. They’ve shown you they may not be capable of the honest communication needed for a healthy relationship.
What If You Are the One Who Ghosted?
Ghosting often comes from discomfort rather than bad intentions, but it’s still better to take responsibility.
If you’re genuinely looking for a healthy relationship, honesty and communication are essential. Avoiding difficult conversations rarely helps anyone.
Be brave.
Many sailors have climbed 40-foot masts, crossed oceans and sailed through storms. Compared with those adventures, sending a short honest message isn’t so difficult.
Even a brief text is better than silence.
Kindness matters.
Keep it short, direct and kind, without focusing on anything the other person did wrong.
For example:
“I don’t feel like it’s working between us.”
“I don’t have romantic feelings for you.”
“I’ve had a change of heart and I’m taking a break from dating.”
Avoid leaving the door half-open with phrases like “maybe in the future”.
Giving someone a clear ending allows them to have closure and move on.
One thing that may unintentionally encourage ghosting is the idea that ending a relationship by text is unacceptable. In long relationships that’s understandable, but in the early stages of dating, especially when most communication has been online, a short, respectful message is often the kindest option. Some people avoid sending anything because they worry it isn’t the “right” way to end things. In reality, a brief and honest message is far better than silence.
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Ghosting image: Generated by AI
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